All brilliant educators I know deeply care about the children and families with whom they work. Their job goes way beyond academics and they are truly “for” the children they teach and their families. For these educators, education is about growing hearts, minds and souls and holding children in unconditional positive regard.The essence of their work involves being human and humane (lovely bit of serendipity, as I was writing this blogpost, I came across this article from Ian Gilbert which speaks more to this humane approach to education)
I love working and learning with these people.
Reflecting back on my own practice, and what I held true to me and what I intentionally aimed to cultivate in my students, there were many aspects to my practice that:
As important as all of that intentional practice was, deep down, it wasn’t really what my practice was about. Deep down, my job was a work of love - A work that enabled children to see the light that they were, that highly valued them as people and the insights they have to offer, that enabled them to develop deep self-respect and self-love as a basis for their personal and academic growth.
My practice, in the end, was all about setting my classroom to the frequency of love. I wasn't fully conscious about this at the time - I “just did it” - because that was who I was - Now, I see what I was doing and I’m going to have a shot at unearthing what I was putting in place to enable children to truly see and own their value and create a deep sense of community in our classroom.
I’d love to know:
Here are some ways I set my classroom to the frequency of love …
Modelled by my first partner teacher, Julian Swindale (boy, I was blessed here!), I saw first hand how setting the tone for the day made an immense impact on the day moving forwards. Here’s how Julian did it: No matter what he had on, no matter what was going on, he played his guitar for at least 10 minutes before his children entered the classroom. Not only did that flip him into his parasympathetic nervous system, it also set the tone as children came into the classroom.
Children pick up on our mood and vibes.
If, like me, you don’t play guitar you can set the tone for the day in multiple ways. You could play calming music as children come into class. You could also start your day with intention ...
What’s your intention for the day ahead? Calmness? Joy? Connection? During your commute and/or for just a few moments before you start class, take a second to go inwards and set an intention for the day. I guarantee this will make a difference to how you show up (and therefore how your learners respond to you). If you can check in with yourself at lunchtime and points throughout the day you can stay in that frequency and stick with your intention. It’s a flex. Ask yourself, “How much can I tap into calm today?” “How much can I stay in the frequency of joy?” There are LOADS of things that happen throughout a school day that can knock you off track. But that’s entirely the point - that’s the flex - how much, how often, how deeply can you pivot back to your original intention?
When I first started teaching, I quickly noticed that my mood affected my learners. When I had days where everything felt frantic and chaotic (and therefore children were more frantic and chaotic in their behaviour as a result), I would purposefully go into the following day picking up on positives only. It always made a massive difference - from dis-harmony to harmony. So simple, it just takes intention.
Again, this was modelled for me in my very first years of teaching (Julian again - what a legend and brilliant person to have learned alongside). I have a memory of one of the children in my Early Years class finding himself unable to regulate his anger. He was in the head teachers’ office throwing and breaking things. Julian was with him. All I could hear him saying (and I’ve changed the name here) was, “Take care Sam, be careful you don’t hurt yourself. Watch that, just don’t hurt your head.” WOW! Not only was Julian holding space for this very important person in my classroom, his focus was 100% on caring for his well-being - because Sam had no idea what he was doing. He was letting out anger. There was zero blame, shame or fear in Julian’s response. Of course there was a conversation afterwards, of course there was support put in place for him and his family. There was still no shame or blame because Sam was learning …
I’ve taken this example forwards into everything I do. Mark Finnis shared in our Learning Pioneers “live” in relationships, “All behaviour is communication.”
So, if children are behaving in an “undesirable” way, they’re trying to communicate something. I want them to know that;
a) I’m listening and;
b) no matter how they behave, behind all of that, I am for them and I fully believe (know) they can learn to regulate and improve as humans and learners over time.
Those of you who persist in this approach will know exactly what result it has - Children end up, over time, believing in themselves and loving themselves just a little bit more. And their behaviour improves - Goes alongside someone truly believing in them.
Meditation, for me, is a force that really needs to be unleashed into education. When I first started meditating with my classes, I noticed the difference in the calmness of the children in my class. As we built in various types of meditation - some guided, some not - children would actively seek out meditation, both in school and at home, as a source of self-regulation and calm. When we had a break for fruit and milk, children would bring me our class singing bowl to make sure we had a few minutes silence - These were all signs that they were valuing meditation as a powerful tool to find calm.
That’s a great start. Especially for children who found it harder to self-regulate - Those were, in fact, the children whose parents said they actively used it as a tool at home.
Meditation can be and is so much more than a calming tool though. Meditation, in my experience, can be used as a way to connect with the subconscious mind and, beyond that, to the Divine. I know that might sound a bit “big” to some people. But it’s true (A Joe Dispenza Advanced Retreat is a sure-fire way to hook you up to that experience, amongst others). Simple meditation can also easily tap into the subconscious, which is where all of our limiting beliefs and conditioning lie. Many therapies, including hypno-therapy, tap into this. What if, through meditation, we could tap into that with children and help them learn to truly and deeply love and honour themselves.
Curious to see if this might work, I began to meditate like this with my latest class. It was prompted by hearing one child in my class, during play, say, “Do you know, I don’t like myself very much.” That got my attention. His behaviour showed me that (“Children who need the most love show it in the most unloving of ways”) but I’d never heard a child say those words out-loud like that. I made it my mission that year to help him to see his brilliance. And I did it through guided meditations, getting him past his conscious mind, intentionally shifting his brainwave state to get to a place where I could speak to his subconscious: “In this space, you know you are loved and you are love and that everything is truly okay.” He was a changed child by the end of the year - he loved himself - his behaviour showed me that. There were many other things I put in place to intentionally work towards that but the meditations definitely played a key role.
I’m excited to hear that Joe Dispenza’s team has been working with a school in Sydney to explore the effects of meditation in school. You can check out his documentary “source” to hear about what people have achieved through meditation. Take an open mind with you as you watch.
Also, here’s a little treat from Joe Dispenza - try walking around with this question in the back of your mind - apply to any situation.
After 3+ years of inquiring into how to develop play intentionally throughout primary and beyond (see PressPlay), I’ve gathered quite a few “whys” behind play, beyond what has always felt intuitively “right” - I’ve always valued play. Here are some quotes I’ve loved from our speakers:
“Play is the purest form of inquiry” Kath Murdoch
“Play is freedom; it's a fundamental human right” Pasi Sahlberg
“Play is love” Pasi Sahlberg
Obviously, if you’re aiming to set your classroom to the frequency of love and “play is love”, you’re going to want to intentionally plan for plenty of play! I safeguard that time. As the quotes above say, “it’s a fundamental human right”. That’s important for the children in my care. I will do everything within my power to protect that for them; I’m fierce about that boundary. They need me to do that, they rely on me to do that.
The results I’ve seen from making time for free play? Endless. Infinite. Expansive. Children find themselves in play, they can be themselves in play, they can discover in play, they make relationships and resolve conflict in play. All acts of love. Very, very important (And this isn’t just for Early Years people - all through primary, secondary and beyond - where are you making time for free play?)
This is super-interesting - I put out a vote on LinkedIn for this one to gauge what other educators thought - you can check out the results and brilliant reflective comments here.
Do you say “I love you” to the children in your class? I do. I always have done (once I realised the potential message I was sending to children by not saying “I love you” - I was keen to break that pattern!). If fact, I go out of my way to tell the children in my class I love them. Days started with that sentence, lessons started with that sentence, restorative conversations started with that sentence. It would go something like this,
“You know I love you, don’t you? I love having you in our class, you’re really important to me and everyone in here. Could we talk about what happened earlier? I’m really interested to hear what you have to say and I’m here to help you figure out what happened and how we can work together to shift and change that.”
That’s a totally different vibe to: “You did something ‘wrong’ earlier and now we have to reflect.”
Takes the shame out of making behavioural mistakes; ensures children know I hold them in unconditional high regard. Very important.
Also, consider the opposite: You don’t actively say “I love you”, a child tells you, “I love you” - happens a lot in Early Years! - Instead of saying “I love you back” you say something more watered down like, “That’s nice. I appreciate having you in our class.” That’s confusing for a young person, isn’t it?! By doing that, we’re teaching them that their love isn’t reciprocated and there’s something “wrong” with expressing love.
That’s for my own practice, yet, I totally understand this might not land with some people or may not feel appropriate in certain contexts, or might not work in the same way with older children. I told young children I loved them. 100% of the time, young children appreciated me telling them I loved them - you saw it in their body language and behaviour. Maybe showing love looks different in different contexts - I’m super curious to hear what other educators think about showing children you love them.
It would be no good letting children know we love them if we didn’t extend that to parents too. We’re a team. A love team. I’ve always aimed to show a deep respect for parents and their understanding of their children as humans, learners and idiosyncratic beings. This clip from Jaz Ampaw-Farr in our Learning Pioneers “live” brings it home as to how we can intentionally build loving, supportive relationships with parents and why this is so important:
I could go on! The list is infinite when thinking about how to imbue our classrooms with love - Valuing presence, slowing down, getting to know our children as people, allowing space and time for children to pursue their own interests, embedding kindness as a classroom value, teaching empathy … I could go on! This list of 6 is a good start though!
What would you add?
What does that look like in your classroom?
What would it look like to set the frequency of a whole school community to love?
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Becky is the co-creator and thought-leader of Learning Pioneers. She loves the magic of children's imagination and thinking and has taught in classrooms across the world from Argentina, to Thailand to the UK, where she is originally from. She has co-authored a book with Professor Guy Claxton and travels the world inquiring into the most meaningful, purposeful, joyous educational settings across the globe.
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